Brownie Harassment
by paranoid woman
Summary: Brownie baking has never been so dangerous. Characters: Colby, Susan Stone, OCs. Rated T.


**Title:** "Brownie Harassment"

**Characters:** Colby, Susan Stone, OCs.

**Word Count:** 2x200, 2x300.

**Rating:** T.

**Warnings:** I've been told by three people already that this deserves a beverage warning. Hehe. You can figure out why.

**Spoilers:** 5x04 - Jack of All Trades.

**Summary:** Brownie baking has never been so dangerous.

**Written for:** numb3rs100, April 2008 Rewind Series - Witness, Discovery, Spy, Camera.

**Betas:** The amazing quirky_circe and the fantastic twins_m0m.

**Dedicated to:** My wonderful friend lillyg, one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met. This is for your birthday, hon!

**A/N:** This is also for mustangcandi and quirky_circe, who are always willing to read some good baking!Colby. *g*

**Another A/N:** This is a sequel to To be in Control, the first story ever about baking!Colby.

**XxX**

**Brownie Harassment**

**Witness **

After an hour of pleasurable morning baking, there was nothing better than enjoying the view of the city from behind the window curtains of the balcony. Thoughtful, Colby brought the piece of mint brownie to his mouth and felt the perfect taste flood his senses.

The apartment across the street reminded him of yesterday's good deed. _Mrs. Dalloway._ She was the nice, old lady who lived there, someone who waved at him from her balcony and even asked him about his job from time to time.

"You better keep that promise, ma'am," Colby whispered to himself as he remembered that he'd given her the delicious brownies recipe the night before, and she'd promised to try it out today.

Imagining her at her chess club downtown, he couldn't help smiling. But he stopped when her head popped out from between the window curtains of her apartment…

She wasn't supposed to be there, watching, much less bring friends – friends that happened to carry around their binoculars.

Three ladies' faces appeared and mimicked Mrs. Dalloway's moves, observing the well-built body that was served on a stick for them.

Colby's breathes quickened and he turned around from the window, but the curtains went open.

He froze –his current state of nakedness had just hit his brain. The body parts that were kept away from public scrutiny were now exhibited for Mrs. Dalloway's and her friends' eyes.

They were asking their boy to come over and eat some brownies with a cup of tea.

_Dear Lord._ Colby swallowed and walked towards his room with his head up high. He didn't even want to imagine what kind of thoughts were running across those women's minds.

"Oh, well," he muttered as he grabbed a pair of boxers from his top drawer, "at least she kept her promise…"

**Discovery**

Tea with brownies at Mrs. Dalloway's place wasn't as bad as Colby had thought. They talked about knitting, recipes and grandsons. It was all safe.

Until an extra guest took him surprise. "Hey," he snapped when he saw her. "Mrs. Stone, I wasn't expecting…"

His words hung in the air as she made her way into the apartment and made herself comfortable beside him, making sure that her arm lay over Colby's shoulder and her leg touched his. "I rented the apartment next door, my dear. These lovely ladies told me you were having a nice time and I decided to join. Brownie, please?"

Danger was all around, but Colby could handle it. He'd been a triple agent, for God's sake.

But he wasn't counting on Mrs. Stone letting her brownie fall onto his pants, right beside his crotch. "Ah," he sighed when he realized her obvious move. He tried to reach for a napkin, but Mrs. Stone was faster than him on this embarrassing harassment.

Her hand rubbed the stained spot with a dry cloth and he jumped on his feet. "Wow, wow…" He looked at the ladies around him, who had no a clue. "Where's the bathroom again?"

**Spy**

Ending the uncomfortable reunion as soon as possible became Colby's first priority. However, locked in the bathroom as he was, it was an impossible mission.

He took a towel, damped it and started to pass it over the stain, shaking his head. Surviving out there would take all of him – his strength, his focus, his wittiness to avoid Mrs. Stone as much as he could.

"Need any help in there?"

"Oh, shoot," Colby snapped, startled by her voice. He stood behind the door, not letting her in, saving him from meeting with Mrs. Stone in the very little compartment. "That's okay."

"You sure? We could take those pants off and…"

"I'm fine, thank you." He said, and he forced the door closed. _You gotta be kidding me._ Had she been spying on him in the bathroom all along?

He took a breath, but the door suddenly went open again, without any notice. Mrs. Stone's head popped in; her eyes moved up and down his body until they fixed on his. "I don't give up easily, Agent Granger," she informed him before closing the door again.

Colby swallowed, and for a moment, he wondered how far she'd be willing to go.

**Camera**

"I need to get going," Colby announced, entering the living room again.

"Well, take care, son…" Mrs. Dalloway told him. She squeezed his cheeks and kissed him like he was a ten-year-old. Even if she and her friends knew well how and when to use their binoculars, she was sweet as honey.

On the other hand, Mrs. Stone had an ace up her sleeve. "Darling, didn't you tell me yesterday that you weren't sure if you'd gotten the brownie recipe right?"

"They're perfect, really," Colby assured Mrs. Dalloway, who looked like she wasn't following.

"I think all the ladies here would love it if you could show us how to make those brownies… _exactly_ the way you make them at home."

From the way Mrs. Stone was grinning, she seemed to know too much. But the curtains had been closed before Mrs. Dalloway appeared at the window… hadn't they?

Casually, Mrs. Stone had brought a camera with her. "Oh, look what I've got. Would you mind if I'd take some pictures while you get your hands on those brownies? Who knows, you could be made to stand in front of the camera, after all," she teased, as she played with the buttons of the device.

Colby tried to think of an answer when his cell phone vibrated and save him. He quickly picked up the call and then informed them, "Yep, duty calls. An emergency. Classified. Can't tell."

Mrs. Stone shook her head, but she didn't give up. Raising her eyebrows, she waved her camera at Colby. "Okay, Agent Granger… You can come make us brownies any time you want. Dressed… or not."

"I'll keep that in mind…" Colby agreed awkwardly before finally being free.

The next time he'd even think of brownies, he'd buy safer curtains, just in case.

**The End.**

**XxX**


End file.
